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 Karolin & Tobi's Script -Draft-

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FireGlaceon

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PostSubject: Karolin & Tobi's Script -Draft-   Sat May 28, 2011 12:30 am

-If you choose to go to the Acrobats-

You follow the bustling path of working people and find your way to some acrobats practicing outside the big top. You find two people there peacefully practicing for the show. For some reason they don't seem as worried as the rest of the cast and crew, you decide to talk to the strange two. One is an older girl and the other is a young boy doing flips off of a bar. The girl seems to be coaching the boy.
You approach the purple and black haired girl.

???: (regular talking) Twist higher Tobi! It'll make the act look better when I spit fire on you.


You approach and the purple and black haired girl turns to you.

???: (annoyed) Who the hell are you?

-Enter your name here-
???: Well [name], what are you doing here? I'm kind of busy dodging Perry.

Choice
(1) Well what are you doing?
(2) Aren't you supposed to be working?

If you answered (1)

???: (normal talking) Well Tobi and I are practicing for the show tonight. I'm supposed to spit fire and he's supposed to flip through it. It's supposed to be a secret, you better not tell anyone [name].

If you answered (2)

???: (pissed) Why do you care? You gonna tell? (death glare) If you don't want a broken arm, then you'd better keep your mouth shut.

If chose (1) or (2) = Response (Automatic Answer)

(1) Yeah sure, I won't tell. But who are you?

If you answered (1)
???: (normal talking) My name? Yeah, I'm Karolin. I spit fire into people's faces for a job. Fun huh.

-Name appears as "Karolin" from now on.-

Suddenly, the young boy jumps from the bar and clings to Karolin.

Karolin: (smiling) [Name], this is Tobi. My little acrobat puppy.

Tobi: .....

Choice
(1) What's wrong with him?
(2) Aw he's cute.

If you answered (1)
Karolin: (pissed) Asshole! That's none of your mother f**king business, that's what!

If you chose (1) = Response
(1) Jez, I'm sorry.
(2) Heh, whatever.

If you answered (2)
Karolin: (normal talking) Well thanks [name]. Seems like we'll be on okay terms.

If you chose (2) = Response (Automatic Answer)
(1)That's cool.

Both paths lead to this situation though.

You hear a pair of footsteps behind you. It seems to be Pierrot once again.

Pierrot: Oh [name]! It seems you met Karolin and Tobi. I hope they didn't do anything to you while I left on that quick errand. (eyes Karolin)

Karolin: Oh please, Perry. [name] and I were having a great conversation. Everything was fine until you came along. (annoyed)


Pierrot: Glad to hear it Karolin. Why don't you and Tobi help out on that chore I assigned you to do. The benches won't set up themselves.

Karolin: (ignoring) Yeah sure. Uh huh, whatever Perry.

Karolin and Tobi go back to their practice routine and you turn back to Pierrot.

Pierrot: -sigh- Sorry about that [name]. Karolin isn't one of the better cast members. Same with Tobi. But I would love to show you around the circus some more. Where would you like to see next?

--------------

So this is my script so far. I hope it's okay XD
I've never really played these types of games before so I never really had experience with it. Razz

Changes needed? Tell me! I need helppp






Last edited by FireGlaceon on Sat May 28, 2011 2:57 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Hutt

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PostSubject: Re: Karolin & Tobi's Script -Draft-   Sat May 28, 2011 6:40 am

Looks really good! Very Happy I like the replies from the player <;
I found a couple of typos though,
" and find your way to come acrobats practicing outside the big top." That's meant to be "some" acrobats, right?
"Everything was find until you came along." aaand that's supposed to be "fine" ? Razz
It's easy to do some typos but yeah, I like the script and Kar's reactions (;
UGH I'm so excited for the game ;;;; <3
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FireGlaceon

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PostSubject: Re: Karolin & Tobi's Script -Draft-   Sat May 28, 2011 3:00 pm

Hutt wrote:
Looks really good! Very Happy I like the replies from the player <;
I found a couple of typos though,
" and find your way to come acrobats practicing outside the big top." That's meant to be "some" acrobats, right?
"Everything was find until you came along." aaand that's supposed to be "fine" ? Razz
It's easy to do some typos but yeah, I like the script and Kar's reactions (;
UGH I'm so excited for the game ;;;; <3

Whoops!
Fixed them Smile Thanks for pointing them out!
lol thats what happens when you type stuff at 1 in the morning XDD
Thank you! I hope to start the sprites soon Smile Im so excited too!!!
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Lazy Kitsune
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PostSubject: Re: Karolin & Tobi's Script -Draft-   Sun May 29, 2011 11:59 pm

I made the script to lead up to this:

-After choosing "Acrobats"-
Pierrot: You want to meet the acrobats?
They're a bit of a troublesome bunch, especially if she's practicing there...
Then again, who isn't troublesome around here? Haha!
Well, if you insist, [Name], let's go.
But don't tell me I didn't warn you.


--
And I rewrote the script based on what you had. Feel free to change parts of it to suit her. ^^

--
You follow Pierrot down a dusty path leading to an open area behind the tents.

Pierrot: Even though it's chaotic around here, we always set up our tents in a certain order so there's room for everything.
It's a miracle we manage to do that every time though...
Well, anyways, we always leave lots of room outdoors for the acrobats to practice their acts.
Hm? Why don't they practice in the Big Top? Well...
They have a tendency to...destroy things...
-smile- Let's not talk about this anymore, okay?


Presently, you see two people in the field ahead.
A girl with long black hair appears to be coaching a young boy as he did flips off of a bar.

???: Twist higher, Tobi!
It'll make the act look better when I spit fire on you.


The girl notices the two of you approaching and eyes you irritably.

???: -annoyed- Who the hell is this?

Pierrot: Good to see you too, Karolin.

Karolin: Whatever.

Karolin returns her attention on the boy on the bar.

Pierrot: [Name], this is Karolin, Demoniac's firebreather.
See the red patches in her skin? They protect her from catching on fire.
That's why we call her "The Salamander."
Isn't it beautiful?


Karolin: -angry- I can hear you, Perry! Don't say such creepy things!

Pierrot: Unfortunately, her personality isn't as nice as her looks.
But what can you do about it?


Karolin: Argh, you're really asking for it, asshole!

Karolin throws a punch at Pierrot, which he swiftly dodges.

Pierrot: The boy, thankfully, is much easier to deal with. Infinitely easier...

Karolin: You leave Tobi out of this, jackass!

Pierrot: What's their act? Why don't you ask them yourself, [Name]?

Karolin: Huh? Oh.

Karolin gestures at the rings and bars behind her where Tobi is perched.

Karolin: I spit fire and he's supposed to flip through it.

Tobi suddenly springs off the bars and clings to Karolin, eyeing you warily.

Tobi: ...

Karolin: It's okay, Tobi!
Isn't he cute?


Choices:
(1)What's wrong with him?
Karolin: Asshole! That's none of your motherfucking business, that's what!
Pierrot: Oh, Karolin...
Can't you be a bit more...gentle with your words? You'll scare [Name] off.

Karolin: Not my problem if [Name] wants to butt into our business!
Pierrot: But [Name] is a journalist...
Karolin: I've got my eye on you, [Name], you bastard.
Stay out of my way if you don't want a broken arm.

Pierrot: Oh dear...Seems you've gone and pissed her off, [Name].
Great job!
But we'd better move it before she really loses it. She might set the field on fire.


(2) Yeah, he's cute.
Karolin: Thanks, [Name].
You're not too bad. Seems like we'll be on okay terms.

Pierrot: How cute, Karolin, you've made a friend for once.
Karolin: Shut up, Perry, before I spit fire into your face!
Pierrot: Well, if you have time to do that, I suggest you get to the big top and lend a hand.
Those benches aren't going to set themselves up, you know.

Karolin: Yeah sure. Uh huh, whatever.
Karolin and Tobi go back to the bars, ignoring Pierrot as they run through their routine.
Pierrot: -annoyed- (Sigh) Hopeless.
Well, we're not gonna get any more out of these two. We'd better move on, [Name].


--
You can change whatever part you like. I hope you like it, Fire! ^^;

Oh, and the last 2 choices, I figured if Karolin will meet the player later, she can react according to the choices made. Like if she's pissed, she'd be angry and spit fire (that can be one of the endings! lol.), and if she's okay, she'll be nicer. Or something like that, haha.
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FireGlaceon

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PostSubject: Re: Karolin & Tobi's Script -Draft-   Mon May 30, 2011 5:59 pm

Lazy Kitsune wrote:
I made the script to lead up to this:

-After choosing "Acrobats"-
Pierrot: You want to meet the acrobats?
They're a bit of a troublesome bunch, especially if she's practicing there...
Then again, who isn't troublesome around here? Haha!
Well, if you insist, [Name], let's go.
But don't tell me I didn't warn you.
.....cont

Oh mai! <3
It's so prettyfuls now. ;D
Thank you for fixin' it up. It flows a lot better now.
I don't think i have to correct anything. It seems great.
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Lazy Kitsune
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PostSubject: Re: Karolin & Tobi's Script -Draft-   Mon May 30, 2011 7:53 pm

Oh, I'm glad you liked it. ^^

I'll let you know what happens in the later part of the game, so you can write more to follow up. What do you think of a "Death by Fire" ending? Hahaha.
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